Visit from a Rwandan Refugee and Friend

Hello everyone,

When I was in Kenya in the spring, I was able to meet Venant, the refugee that my church, St. Ignatius, is trying to sponsor. Venant escaped to Kenya from Rwanda. His story is a fascinating one, one that reveals that God's hand was on him as he journeyed. God's hand is still upon him, blessing him with miracles. He let us know that he would be in Canada and that he would be able to spend the weekend with those he had met or been corresponding with. We were blessed with his presence and after a whirlwind visit he has returned to Kenya. Keep him in prayers as he has been called for his interview by the Canadian embassy. In the photo below, his new friends pray over him before he leaves. May God who is gracious do the best thing for Venant.

amani,

Suzanne

Hello Friends,

It has been awhile since I posted anything on the blog and I decided to take a moment to update you.

This summer I took a course by Piet Miering, a man who served on the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) during Apartheid. It was a fascinating class, linking the Indian Residential Schools TRC here in Canada to what happened in South Africa. I learned a lot and appreciated studying more about Africa. I handed in my paper for my practicum and so am officially closing the door on that credit. I had a chance to visit with Bridget, Zachee and Tim in Ontario this summer and it was lovely to see them again. It was the first time that Zachee and Tim were in Canada and, unfortunately, summer heat was scarce here at the time. Bridget, Tim and I sat outside having ice cream and I looked across at Tim only to see the poor boy’s teeth were chattering as he munched away on his cone. Yeesh!!

I also had the opportunity to be interviewed on Canadian Mennonite University’s radio station about my practicum. You can hear the interview by going to http://www.cmu.ca/. On the left hand side there is a tab News&Events. Click on it and go to Sunday at CMU. You want to listen to the September 13 program. I am near the end so you can fast forward it to the last 5 minutes of the program if you don’t want to sit through the preaching and songs.

I presented on my visits within the African Deaf Community a few weeks back at the Winnipeg Church of the Deaf and have been asked to present at a Tri-Church gathering in January which will hopefully raise some funds for the Deaf people I met in Burundi and Kenya.

In the next couple of weeks, a Rwandan refugee I met is arriving in Winnipeg if all goes well with his visa. His boss is allowing him to visit his friends here after he does some work in Montreal.

Check back occasionally, as I will update you from time to time on all things African in my life.

Be well.

Suzanne

Shining, Rising, Leaping

Pentecost 2009

Shine through me, Jesus, and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel your presence in my soul. Let them look up and see no longer me but only Jesus! ~ Cardinal Newman

We are called to be leaven—that which brings something to life. ~ Fr. Brian Massie, sj

Dear Friends,

I find it hard to believe that I have been back in Canada eight weeks or so. I arrived home for Easter celebrations and, as I write this, it is now Pentecost. The Easter season is complete. Some days Africa seems only a distant memory; other days if I close my eyes, I can feel the warmth of the sun bearing down on me as if I am still there.

My adjustment back to life in Winnipeg has been mixed. I have so much to process still and much to grow into understanding in the years to come. Fr. Brian Massie, my former pastor, posted a comment on my blog early on, “Follow that star…and who knows what road will take you back.” He was right, as he so often was. I don’t know what road has taken me back or where exactly it is leading me. My re-entry was interrupted a few weeks later by Fr. Brian’s death. He and I worked closely together on a number of projects and though we were an unlikely pair to become friends, we did. He was a diamond in the rough—a man who had fought alcoholism and won, a priest who had ministered to death row inmates in Jamaica, a pastor who came cussing and sharing ideas about Catholicism that drew much fire. Lots of people left the parish and others arrived in droves. For those who did not attempt to understand his style or beliefs, they missed a wonderful opportunity. He and I did not always agree but he was my mentor, my teacher, my healer, and my cheerleader. Everyone should have someone in their life that shakes them up just slightly so that ideals and convictions become clearly known. Everyone should also have someone who believes in you on a level that is hard to describe. He led numerous people to a place of healing of wounds inflicted by the Catholic church and helped us find a comfortable home again in the pews. He encouraged me to step out and find my voice…and find it I did, in new and remarkable ways, in a Church where women’s voices have long been silenced. For that I will be ever grateful. In this unlikely servant, I did recognize the face of Christ, and he called all of us to be that face as well.

As I reflect upon these two major life events in 2009, I see that both the life of Fr. Brian and my African Adventure have me longing to be more of a healing presence in this world. In my final debrief with staff in Kenya, I was told that I had managed to heal them as well as the people with whom we worked. This revelation startled me but I realized that I had prayed that I would be the Light of Christ to the people I would meet. I just was so unaware of what I was doing and how powerfully this prayer came true. In fact, my supervisor said that I had been the star intern. Little did she know the impact of those words. That having left on the Feast of Epiphany, I had tried to follow the star. I had never expected to become the star—the star that would lead others to Christ’s gentle healing. I am humbled by this concept and struggle to embrace its full meaning for me.

I count many African memories as cherished. The most difficult event has turned out to be the most life changing for me. I was caught in a riot in DR Congo and had to remain in my hotel room for almost 20 hours. There will always be people who will tell you that one person cannot make a difference. I beg to differ. I will never forget how my colleague courageously stepped out onto our hotel balcony the morning after the rampage and called quietly down to the soldier who was yelling he was going to kill the teenager he held and that other soldiers should do the same to show the townspeople that they could not riot like they had. She spoke words of truth and sensibility to him and then slipped back into our room. The military soon exited. Elizabeth was definitely leaven that day. What could have turned into a bloodbath became relatively calm. It was not the end of the kafuffle but it did change the course of the day and saved many lives.

I met incredible people of faith whose lives have been far from ideal yet they maintain a deep sense of joy and hope. A lesson waits there for me to live fully into. I saw magnificent landscapes and animals that lead me back to trusting my strongly held conviction that God exists. The sunrises on the Indian Ocean, the giraffes galloping in the Maasai Mara, and the colourful floral sprinkled in the least likely places took my breath away. How could there not be a God? Yes, one could counter that the horrors of the genocides in Rwanda and Burundi, the atrocities currently occurring in DR Congo, and the violence in Kenya after the elections last year lead people to question the authority of a benevolent God. I don’t. In fact, having seen the works of those combating evil in our world and knowing they are firm in their beliefs as well, I cannot doubt and I will not stop trying to shine so that others will see Christ in action. A Light does shine in the darkness. Fr. Brian once said that if Jesus had known only the Light, he would have had trouble finding us in the dark. I am learning to live with both the Light and the dark parts of life: the pain and sorrow and joy and hope. I have excellent role models now in Africa whose life stories are beyond imagining, both in the brightest of Light and darkest of dark moments.

I am not sure where this turn in the road will lead me. I cannot see that far ahead. Faith is not something that gives you a road map, just the tools for walking with the pinpricks of Light for the journey. The partners in Central Africa would like me to come back and do a month-long training session for them. The Deaf Community in Burundi would certainly welcome me again. God willing, I will follow the star that has led me thus far. I pray for the grace to be open to all that will be. I also wish to be leaven—to bring to life the joys and hope that so many people here in the West struggle to find. We have so little to complain about and yet I know how easy it is to fall into that trap and whine about banal, trivial issues. Fr. Brian asked once during a homily, “What have you settled for?” I keep picking up those words now as I wonder where this road is leading. I don’t wish to settle. I long to take a quantum leap of faith and shout, “Your will be done! Make me shine. Make me leaven. Lead me on. May I be more fully Yours. May the world see You at Your brightest through me.” It is a scary leap that requires great courage…so maybe I will just try baby steps for now and know that God is still with me on the journey. God’s love and grace are sufficient while I continue moving in the direction of that guiding star that beckons me to follow, until at last, I can leap.

peace/amani/amahoro,

Suzanne

Most Holy of Nights

Tonight is the most holy of nights in the Catholic Church. It is with great joy that I have returned to my community for this celebration. The transition home has had a few bumps. I freaked out the first night trying to brush my teeth. I turned the tap on and then pulled my hand away, sure that I could not brush with the water that was coming out of the faucet. I also could not find my rear defroster on my car the first morning. I had to look for several minutes while trying to negotiate the morning rush hour roads at the same time. I could not remember the password to my blackberry so had to have it wiped clean and start again. I am not quite sure where I have put a number of things, including the keys to my desk at work and my cheque book. I am LOVING my hot showers in the morning and feel no guilt at the moment as I linger there. My body is sleeping well and suddenly I feel starved. I devoured most of the food at the family gathering yesterday, and this on a day of fasting. Sigh. I offer it all to God who certainly understands better than I do.

I went to Taize prayer last night at St. Benedict's Retreat Centre and sat before the cross in the dimly lit chapel. Adorned with purple pansies and candles, the cross stood simply and silently before me, a reminder of what I must embrace and how life is for so many people throughout our suffering world. I could hardly keep my eyes open at one point and was certain I might fall asleep. It was 4:00 am in Nairobi. I could not help but think of the apostles as they struggled to keep watch. During the intercessions, I prayed for war torn countries. The photo is taken in Kiyaya, near Uvira, at the partner's site, the day of the riot I lived through. I had sat that afternoon, unaware of what was to come, looking at this cross too, not understanding the cross I would take up that night and would carry in my memory for the rest of my life. Some people suffer tremendously in our world. I hope each of them will know the joy of the Resurrection as well. Tonight is a Holy Night. May I embrace it with wonder and awe as the Light of the World returns to set us free.

May each of you know the tremendous joy of this Holy Night and the freedom it brings to each one who is ready to receive it. Happy Easter!

peace,

Suzanne

Foot washing

I am now home over 48 hours and the Holy Triduum has begun. Upon my arrival home, I was asked to be one of the parishioners whose feet were washed in our Holy Thursday service . I was honoured. I have never had this done at this parish and as I watched the young deacon go through the first eleven representatives, I could see him sweating and I realized, once again, how difficult service is. To serve and to be served is not easy. I thought I might cry all the way through it but I did not. Instead I watched the washer as he gently washed each set of feet. I could not help but think how three weeks ago I wondered if my feet would ever be clean again. I understand the necessity for footwashing now on all kinds of levels. We need to let someone wash our feet once in awhile when we are in service mode as a gentle reminder that we are simply the vessel that allows God to move within our world. The footwashing was a wonderful completion of the circle that began with my missioning service.

The path to Calvary has begun and I walk it thoughtfully these days. I have so much more left to process but I have returned to work and so the rhthym of routine begins.

Amani,

Suzanne

Safe in Winnipeg

I have arrived safely in Winnipeg, where it is cool, but not cold, and patches of snow still sprinkle the ground. In some places, more than a patch of snow still stands, defying spring its welcome. Flights back were good and I had no trouble at the airport or immigration. I shuffled the contents of my bags at the airport and managed to avoid a weight charge. The man at the airport looked at my carry on baggage and let me through anyway with both pieces. Arriving in Winnipeg, I figured I was over the limit for expenditures and was honest about it. That immigration officer thought about it for a moment and then waved me on, without charging me.

My family greeted me at the airport and off we went for supper. I have a day to resettle and then I will be back at work on Thursday. I will do some postings in the coming while just to let you know where I am at as I transition to life here. I will also add some photos and videos so check the old postings if I won't be seeing you if you want.

amani,

Suz

Final Day in Nairobi

Love entails a breaking. This was the last line of this morning's Lenten meditation. I could feel the tears well up. I am not quite ready to leave here yet and the goodbyes are still hard. Already several people are saying how much they will miss me. I was certain the hard goodbyes were done but I realize it is the finality that accompanies today that makes every adieu difficult. I feel like I am leaving parts of my heart scattered across this region. I also know that several people are saddened at my departure and somehow I feel responsible for that pain. Love entails a breaking. I had prayed for people to see the face of Christ in me and for those whose hearts I have touched I know it is so. Christ must have broken many hearts this Holy Week as He said His goodbyes. I have much to consider as I walk towards Good Friday and Easter morning this year. May I embrace the breaking with which Love has abundantly lavished me.

amani,

Zanna