Most Holy of Nights

Tonight is the most holy of nights in the Catholic Church. It is with great joy that I have returned to my community for this celebration. The transition home has had a few bumps. I freaked out the first night trying to brush my teeth. I turned the tap on and then pulled my hand away, sure that I could not brush with the water that was coming out of the faucet. I also could not find my rear defroster on my car the first morning. I had to look for several minutes while trying to negotiate the morning rush hour roads at the same time. I could not remember the password to my blackberry so had to have it wiped clean and start again. I am not quite sure where I have put a number of things, including the keys to my desk at work and my cheque book. I am LOVING my hot showers in the morning and feel no guilt at the moment as I linger there. My body is sleeping well and suddenly I feel starved. I devoured most of the food at the family gathering yesterday, and this on a day of fasting. Sigh. I offer it all to God who certainly understands better than I do.

I went to Taize prayer last night at St. Benedict's Retreat Centre and sat before the cross in the dimly lit chapel. Adorned with purple pansies and candles, the cross stood simply and silently before me, a reminder of what I must embrace and how life is for so many people throughout our suffering world. I could hardly keep my eyes open at one point and was certain I might fall asleep. It was 4:00 am in Nairobi. I could not help but think of the apostles as they struggled to keep watch. During the intercessions, I prayed for war torn countries. The photo is taken in Kiyaya, near Uvira, at the partner's site, the day of the riot I lived through. I had sat that afternoon, unaware of what was to come, looking at this cross too, not understanding the cross I would take up that night and would carry in my memory for the rest of my life. Some people suffer tremendously in our world. I hope each of them will know the joy of the Resurrection as well. Tonight is a Holy Night. May I embrace it with wonder and awe as the Light of the World returns to set us free.

May each of you know the tremendous joy of this Holy Night and the freedom it brings to each one who is ready to receive it. Happy Easter!

peace,

Suzanne

Foot washing

I am now home over 48 hours and the Holy Triduum has begun. Upon my arrival home, I was asked to be one of the parishioners whose feet were washed in our Holy Thursday service . I was honoured. I have never had this done at this parish and as I watched the young deacon go through the first eleven representatives, I could see him sweating and I realized, once again, how difficult service is. To serve and to be served is not easy. I thought I might cry all the way through it but I did not. Instead I watched the washer as he gently washed each set of feet. I could not help but think how three weeks ago I wondered if my feet would ever be clean again. I understand the necessity for footwashing now on all kinds of levels. We need to let someone wash our feet once in awhile when we are in service mode as a gentle reminder that we are simply the vessel that allows God to move within our world. The footwashing was a wonderful completion of the circle that began with my missioning service.

The path to Calvary has begun and I walk it thoughtfully these days. I have so much more left to process but I have returned to work and so the rhthym of routine begins.

Amani,

Suzanne

Safe in Winnipeg

I have arrived safely in Winnipeg, where it is cool, but not cold, and patches of snow still sprinkle the ground. In some places, more than a patch of snow still stands, defying spring its welcome. Flights back were good and I had no trouble at the airport or immigration. I shuffled the contents of my bags at the airport and managed to avoid a weight charge. The man at the airport looked at my carry on baggage and let me through anyway with both pieces. Arriving in Winnipeg, I figured I was over the limit for expenditures and was honest about it. That immigration officer thought about it for a moment and then waved me on, without charging me.

My family greeted me at the airport and off we went for supper. I have a day to resettle and then I will be back at work on Thursday. I will do some postings in the coming while just to let you know where I am at as I transition to life here. I will also add some photos and videos so check the old postings if I won't be seeing you if you want.

amani,

Suz

Final Day in Nairobi

Love entails a breaking. This was the last line of this morning's Lenten meditation. I could feel the tears well up. I am not quite ready to leave here yet and the goodbyes are still hard. Already several people are saying how much they will miss me. I was certain the hard goodbyes were done but I realize it is the finality that accompanies today that makes every adieu difficult. I feel like I am leaving parts of my heart scattered across this region. I also know that several people are saddened at my departure and somehow I feel responsible for that pain. Love entails a breaking. I had prayed for people to see the face of Christ in me and for those whose hearts I have touched I know it is so. Christ must have broken many hearts this Holy Week as He said His goodbyes. I have much to consider as I walk towards Good Friday and Easter morning this year. May I embrace the breaking with which Love has abundantly lavished me.

amani,

Zanna

The Big Five and More!

Presider: God is good.
Congregation: All the time.
Presider: All the time.
Congregation: God is good!

Most Catholic Churches here in Kenya begin the mass this way and then conclude in a similar fashion with the announcements, read by a lay minister. God is good....all the time. I know that more than before. God has been faithful to your prayers and mine in ways we could never have expected or imagined.
The week has been a wee bit hectic. My quick trip to the coast was followed by a busy day in the office and then a jet away to the Masai Mara. The Mara was spectacular. Each game drive ended with an adventure. The first night we ended up visiting a pride of lions. The next morning it was a rhino. That evening, we chased down a cheetah. The next morning just when we thought we were done, our excellent driver William from Sarova Tent Camp, sped up. I held my breath. Did this mean we were about to check off the Big Five? The other passengers who were now my friends (two people from Turkey and two from England) were oblivious. Soon enough though, William confessed that we were on our way to see a leopard that was on the move so we had better hang on as he gunned it down the winding trails. We caught up to the cat which was stretched out sunning himself. Annoyed at the number of vehicles that had joined him, he sauntered off and hid in a thicket. We were beside ourselves though at having seen all that we wanted to. Elephants with babies, several prides of lions, giraffes, rhinos, hyenas, jackals, and various kinds of antelopes took our breath away. The stunning setting of the Mara is a perfect backdrop for the adventure, providing guests with awesome sunrises and sunsets, wide open spaces, and rolling hills. Jake, everyone in our jeep wants my photos so I cannot thank you enough for your recommendation of the camera.
I have been packing which is discouraging. I need to buy another suitcase which I was hoping to avoid but I have a few gifts that I have been given for some people in Canada. I was pretty proud of myself for buying small but thoughtful gifts for my family and friends. Oh well, I am giving some of my clothes away to the camp in DRC. There is always a trade off, I am learning.
I leave here Monday night and arrive in Winnipeg Tuesday afternoon. I am back at work on Thursday for a day-long meeting. I am not quite ready to leave here but do look forward to coming home again. Thanks for all your prayers. God really is good. I have been abundantly blessed.

Amani,

Suzanne

Beach Boys and Pastors

I was in the Mombasa area early this week. I stayed right on the Indian Ocean--if I threw a coconut I would hit the sea. Normally I love walking along the shore or out at low tide but these beach boys are really annoying. They do not give you much quiet time, even at 6:30 in the morning. What is the use of being at the ocean if you cannot hear yourself think???? I did not process my departure at all but I did soak in the sunrises and as much alone time as I could sneak in when someone was not offering to make a chocolate baby with me or attempting to sell me some sea shells.

The Hope For Kenya Forum was good. Pastors shared their stories of the church pre and post election. There is a great need to repent at actions that church members and pastors took. One story that stays with me is how an elderly Muslim man watched as a mob decided to burn down one of the churches. The pastor related that he was told by someone who was there that the Muslim intervened and said, "I am a Muslim and I cannot let you burn down this church." The crowd respected his wishes and left. If only Christians had spoke out against the violence in such a manner.

I will say more but I am now at the Maasai Mara and leave for a game ride in about 30 minutes so I better get back to my tent and prepare to leave. On the drive here we saw lions, giraffes, elephants, and many more of God's amazing critters. I cannot believe I did not want to come. I am staying in the lap of luxury here and will definitely gain every pound back that I lost here in Nairobi walking to work. Sigh...

peace,

Suz