I'm leaving on a jet plane....

November 2008

At every step I feel the power of God. Wherever I am, whatever happens to me; I am in the hands of Divine Providence! Bl. Joseph Kowalski

Dear Friends,

I was listening to a song recently that my cousin Kathy taught me—Shout to the Lord. I was thinking how true the words were and how it became my favourite worship song the summer I learned it. Every word resonates within me. I love the images and I do sing for joy at the work of God’s hands. Kathy and I have had a few adventures together over the years, but none quite like our time together in Kenya. I am preparing to return to that country in a few short weeks and I find myself remembering our time together. I marveled at everything I saw during our trek around the country in which she was then teaching. I fell in love with Africa and knew one day I would have to return. In some ways, I feel like I have waited an eternity to do so but now my health is somewhat stable and I have decided to take a 3.5 month educational leave from work and do an international practicum with a Quaker peace organization called Change Agents for Peace International (CAPI). The fact that it will be 30 degrees warmer than Winnipeg in January is a source of great joy.

CAPI does work in Kenya, Rwanda, Burundi, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC). I will be doing six-week placements with each of the offices in Kenya and Burundi. On top of the practicum, I hope to connect with the Deaf and interpreting communities. I also hope to meet a refugee my church is still waiting to sponsor. I have a couple of connections to the Catholic Church thanks to friends who are introducing me in cyberspace. I will be staying with host families and look forward to that cultural experience. Burundi is a French-speaking country—here is hoping the immersion experience won’t be too painful as I stumble to remember what French I know.

I think lots of people in my life are surprised by my decision to do this. Many are afraid for me since last year’s post-election violence in Kenya. Nairobi is safer than it has been but like any metropolis of 3.5 million people, one must exercise caution when moving about and going out after dark is not advisable. I cannot stand in other people’s fears. The desire to serve in this fashion has been in my heart for decades and I know that when I was in Guatemala I loved every moment of it. I do have my own fears but when I read the Golden Compass trilogy this summer, I thought Iorek the Bear’s reply to Lyris’ question about his fears was logical. Yes, he had fears, but he would not live into those fears before he was standing in front of them.

Burundi is one of the 10 poorest countries in the world. Like Rwanda, and now the DRC, Burundi has experienced genocide. Half of Burundian children have no education and many are trafficked for sexual purposes. HIV and AIDS are rampant in all four countries. I expect the stories of the people to transform me, as they did in Guatemala. These are countries where people have encountered tremendous pain and yet still seek hope. CAPI works alongside local organizations, providing training in alternatives to violence, assisting internally displaced people, and reintegrating ex-combatants and ex-prisoners. CAPI has a special focus on women and children, and is a women-led organization. Several projects they coordinate interest me—from literacy for women to bereavement groups to teaching street children peacemaking alternatives. In some ways, the job description seems written for me: assisting with bereavement training, supporting women-specific activities in the conflict transformation program, and assisting in the preparation of reports and newsletters.

On retreat recently, the speaker taught about anachorein or withdrawing. Scripture mentions how Jesus and others withdrew but unlike what I had known it to mean, the retreat leader explained it as a strategy to free oneself which leads to transformation in order for the word of God to be fulfilled. Withdrawing is done usually in response to violence or chaos. I found this powerful as I prepare to go to people who are sure to have lived both the violence and the withdrawing. I am sure I will witness amazing stories.

I am not sure what to expect and that is fine by me. I want to remain open to whatever God reveals to me in these three and a half months. I sometimes think of the Merton prayer when I doubt that God actually wants me to do this and find comfort that God will come with me anyway, and bless the path I walk. I have asked that my parish mission me. St. Ignatius has shaped and nurtured my faith. My desire to serve blossomed in those pews. I also know that I cannot do this on my own. The blessing of God and the prayers of my community are crucial components on this journey. Some days I wonder if the Magi felt like me—wondering why I am compelled to follow this star that is leading me to an unknown destination but assured that upon my arrival Christ will reveal himself to me in ways that I cannot even imagine. Like Mary too, I say yes to a journey that I cannot understand on this side of it. I am sure my heart will be pierced, as sure as I am that joy will flood me in ways not yet experienced.

I arrive in Africa on Epiphany and hope that I will be attentive to discovering Christ in all I encounter. The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius prompt people to look at the gifts God has given and to ask what more can I do. This is a gift that I make to God and to my parish that this year celebrates 100 years of a great cloud of witnesses. The timing seems perfect to undertake such a venture.

You can follow my African Adventure at suzanneinafrica.blogspot.com and drop me email messages via that account. I would ask that you please not send any email to my shaw account as of December 28 and do not send any forwarded messages to me while I am away. I am not sure what my Internet access will be and do not want to come back to a full mailbox. I leave December 29 for Heidelberg to ring in the New Year with friends so keep that in mind if you are sending me a card this year. I pray for each of you this Advent season, and wish you a peace-filled Christmas in a world desperately in need of a Saviour.

Peace,

Suzanne