Explaining Grief to Traumatized People

Today I am upcountry in Burundi, in Gitega. The rain is pouring down as it does up here and a fleece is necessary in these mountains. The power just went off and may well again, making me lose this blog too but I will take the chance. Yesterday and today I gave a training session to the MiParec [Ministry for Peace and Reconciliation] staff. Everyone in the room of 20 people had lost several people. Today, I realize how exhausting it has been to lead this session and how inadequate I feel to even be talking about such a topic to people who have endured great trauma. In the final ceremony, there were many tears and much wailing. I thought my own heart would break listening but I do know that it is a good step forward for these people.

Afterwards, I took a walk into town by myself to clear my head and to buy chocolate. On the way back, I met a woman who was in the session and she told me in French that she had cried many tears overnight but that it was good. God is working in ways in which I can only stand in awe and gratitude. People here have experienced genocide and do not have much closure to their grief, especially when no body has ever been found.

Tomorrow morning at 6:00 I will go to Mutaho, further upcountry, to visit an MCC volunteer who I met the first night I arrived in Buju. She is a Canadian who is living beside a Catholic Seminary where I hope to spend some time praying and reflecting as my first month draws to a close. Yes, it is hard to believe but I am already done the first third of the journey.

Therese, my dear, I have new appreciation of your world travels a few years back. I struggle with the languages and culture a lot. The local language here is much more challenging than Swahili and my French is still evolving. On a funny note, back when I was in DRC a few weeks back I was greeted by an attractive Congolese doctor working with IRC and returned a comment with the familiar tu instead of vous. I immediately recognized my mistake--since he stopped dead in his tracks and came over and asked if this was my room. I recovered nicely by saying that yes, it was, and this one was my friend s and the other one belonged to my other friend. He got the hint that he should not come knocking that night which is a good thing since he of all people should be setting a good example of abstinence in a country devastated by AIDS. Yeesh!!!!!

Greetings are a maze in the Great Lakes Region. I am learning when and how to shake hands, when to offer a head touch three times, or when to kiss three times on the cheek but I still have not mastered it all. Really, the cultural etiquette is important. Here people walk guests to the gate but I leave my shoes in my room and then cannot do so because walking guests barefoot to the gate is not acceptable. Rules, rules, rules!!! Thank goodness for some cross cultural training.

I am back in Buju on Wed sometime and will have some internet access then. It turns out you cannot access me by texting in Burundi but I will be in Rwanda again on Feb 14 and it may work then.

peace or amahoro which is one of the local words I can use...

Suz