Ash Wednesday, a day of fasting and penance, has arrived. The commentary in the missalette today says that today is “an acceptable time to ask ‘Where is my heart?’” After yesterday’s interactions and in preparation of saying good bye to people here in Burundi, I found myself delaying answering that question. I have obviously begun to steel myself rather than integrate the experiences. Today at breakfast, young Tim, started one of his stories with the traditional, “Tu sais….” and I thought about how much I am going to miss him. He has, most certainly, a piece of my heart.
Where is my heart indeed? The commentary also talked about how in Lent we are called to “strengthen our purpose and clarify our vision—to live a new covenant of right relationship with God, the earth and its people.” I remember my missioning service on the Feast of St. Lucy and the prayers for vision and Light, for being able to see Christ here in the people and all Creation. What do I see with the eyes of my heart? How am I changing from the experiences that I am gifted with here? I echo with the psalmist: Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.
This Lent is not so much about giving up something as living out something. One of the prayers of the faithful today is “For victims of war rebuilding out of ashes.” If I were sitting in a pew at St. Ignatius, would I have reacted so strongly to those words? I sometimes think that I am not exactly sure what I am living out here—but that maybe in the next 40 days that something will become clearer to me. Whatever it is I am living out this Lent, it has much more power than giving up chocolate or computer games. If it is my heart and spirit that must be transformed, then this Lent may be one of the most powerful I have ever lived out. My prayers are with you as you enter this Holy Season. May you know God’s grace and mercy in new and profound ways. May your heart and soul be transformed.
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